I just met an old (gay) gentleman from the island who taught me a valuable lesson about (incredible) verbal efficiency. He stopped me in the middle of the street to tell me this:
“Your mother used to be so incredibly beautiful when she was young! And you look so much like your dad.”
Basically, in one short sentence he managed to:
- Offend my mother and say that she USED to be beautiful and now she is just an old rag
- Offend my dad and say that while mom at least WAS beautiful, he is ….. ugly
- Offend me and tell me that I am unfortunately as ugly as my dad.
The worst thing is that I believe he actually wanted to say something charming.
P.S. I am not fishing for compliments! Just found this…. actually charming.
Thoughts for you (if I might be so bold):
1. He would never have said that your father looks good, only gay men do that.
2. He would have never said that you are beautiful because in today’s world that would be sexual harassment.
3. Since he considers himself an old rag he does not consider a famous women as your mother to be interested in him anymore. By acknowledging that he is old, he can only dream of the time when he admired her in the past.
4. He simply refers to you looking like your dad because he has no sexual references to you. He is simply to old and/or decent to do that. Also see Point 2.
This is why I basically stopped making compliments to people. Chances are that whatever you say is perceived as an offensive is just too high.
Uuupppsss! Nice old gentleman!
This story reminds me of one that happened to me, just that that one happened several times!! I have a second cousin and she used to be (I guess she still is) very beautiful. Well, each time I met her, the guy or guys going with me said “oh, your cousin is so beautiful, you don’t look alike at all!” ouch!
love,
Nesi
PS. Even if you are not fishing for compliments… Your mother is still very beautiful and in my opinion you look exactly like her!