O.K. I gave it a try. I really did. Gave my best.
This weekend, I translated the first two stories from my book from English to German. My Austrian publisher and I hoped that I could translate my book myself – it is a different thing if you are a translated author or an “at home” author. Well, I obviously don’t have a home…
Good girl I am, I translated whole Sunday long and then gave my piece of art to my neighbour Marcus to correct it so that I get a feeling of how wrong it is.
Next morning, Marcus came into my apartment in his pyjama, with a cup of coffee in his hand, sat on my couch and looked… well … grim.
“Many mistakes” he said, a bit uncomfortable in the “don’t shoot the messenger” manner. I begged him to be honest – my career as an Austrian author (or not) was at stake. So, I made myself a toast and a cup of tea and sat down next to him so he could explain the mistakes. “The cases are wrong. There are many typos. And there are things you just cannot say like that in German.” “O.K. but once those things are corrected; does it sound like… something?” I wanted to say “a piece of literature” but didn’t dare. Marcus was speechless. O.K. I got it. It’s crap.
He started explaining the mistakes. And I don’t remember the last time I laughed that much. There is nothing sweeter than laughing about yourself. We were cracking down with the second page (“What the hell is this, a sentence????!!!”) when I told Marcus we should actually film those correcting sessions and make them into “Laudonplace Big Brother” – the jokes (actually my translated texts) were funnier than any reality show I’ve ever seen before.
The conclusion is: my book gets a translator and I get a course in German writing. It is sad but true: I am definitely not an Austrian author. Neither am a Croatian author. And I am for sure NOT a translator. I’m nothing. And everything.
Tags: Book, From Barbie to Vibrator, Personal
I can assure you I had discussions with people from Vienna who had german as their first language about what words are coming from Austrian dialect and which ones are actual words you find in a dictionary. So do not worry.
As regards to your writing class, the German language is a hell for its own. You rather go and do something productive with your time. Knowing what to say and being 100% correct in grammar are not 1-1 connected since people have brains to understand what you mean if you say “der buch” instead of “das buch”.
And about being nothing, I can only quote:
“A specialist is someone who knows more and more about less and less until he knows everything about nothing. And a generalist on the other hand is someone who knows less and less about more and more until he knows nothing about everything.”
To have enough to say to fill a book that people would read is rare enough. To try do so in 3 languages is somewhere between illusions of greatness and trying to change your job from writer to translator.
Thank you very much for your thoughts on translating and also thank you to Oliver for your comments on it. I too tried my hand at translating and failed. And as for German writing – even though I work in an organisation where German is the working language, I still sit for at least an hour at a half page long letter (to get it just right) and then get someone to proof it!