Barbie was born on 9 March 1959. Ruth Handler created her based on German dolls called Lilli. Up to now, 100 million meters of clothes were used for her wardrobe. If she were alive, Barbie would be a woman standing 2.13m tall with a waistline of 45.7cm and a bustling of 100cm. In fact, she would need to walk on all fours just to support her peculiar proportions (wouldn’t THEY like that?!). She would have deformed joints, problems with breathing and she would be infertile. 90% of girls aged 3-10 have at least one Barbie.
I won’t bitch about her on her birthday. Because let’s be honest – her name in the title of my book surely added to its success. So I should say: Thank you, Barbie. And in all that positive spirit, here my two favourite Barbie jokes:
A man walks into the toy store to get a Barbie doll for his daughter. So he asks the assistant, as you would, “How much is Barbie?”
“Well,” she says, “we have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.00.”
“Hey, hang on,” the guy asks, “why is Divorced Barbie $265.00 when all the others are only $19.95?”
“Yeah, well, it’s like this … Divorced Barbie comes with Ken’s house, Ken’s car, Ken’s boat, Ken’s furniture …”
……….
A little girl goes to see Santa Claus at the local shopping mall. When she arrives and sits down on Santa’s lap Santa asks “What do you want for Christmas little girl?”.
“I want a Barbie and a GI Joe” says the little girl.
“But Barbie comes with Ken” Santa says,
“No, Barbie only ‘cums’ with GI Joe!”
Tags: Barbie, Commentary
Since the usage age for barbie has steadily decreased for the last 50 years, I guess barbie will expire once the kids that would still play with it are those who do not have the choice over their toys (below 2 years maybe?). But parents wont give barbie to those kids (or will they?). So I give her 10 more years to live. Maybe 15.
Hey, I think I am the only woman who has never had a Barbie!! I remember wanting one and my mother giving me a speech about women rights, natural beauty and the role of women in society…. I didn’t have a clue what the hell she was talking about; I was about 5 years old! Finally she gave me a “barriguitas” (=”little tummy” in Spanish). I ended up having a big collection of barriguitas. They came in different models like Barbie… but they had no glamour at all!
Under this link you can find a photo of Barriguitas:
http://www.salvat.com/imagenes/productos/informacion/19_1.jpg
@ Oliver, there might be something in that thesis. But you know what – she will simply turn digital!
@ Ines – your mama is cool! My dad tried the same thing – he wanted to convert me to Mon Chi Chi (maybe this is why I called the dog Chi Chi). They also had clothes and accessories but unfortunately, Barbie won. Little girls simply want to play with “grown up” dolls and live out the possibilities they do not yet have – funky shoes and dresses and handbags. And a muscular boyfriend
To be honest I think that barbie is more women-rights friendly than a Barriguitas… I rather have a daughter who tries to keep in shape and work hard than one who thinks cooking and being chubby is better…. I think there are far more kids who are overweight than anorexic…. but i might be wrong there.