Archive for October, 2008

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Already miss them…..

Friday, October 31st, 2008

You know what? There are so many things I am going to miss when all of this is over.

First, I am going to miss Sarah! She is a great inspiration for my oh-so-beloved sexy librarian style. I am going to miss the nest on her head and this incredible $22,000 face. She made me want to buy a new lipstick every day and dig out that pencil skirt and high heels, long forgotten since I left the business world! And she made me wear my glasses proudly. Yep, it works. Plus, with Sarah gone, my stomach muscles are going to go. Who am I going to laugh about?

I am going to miss Cindy! Every time I see Cindy, her hair is blonder and her face stiffer and I think she cannot do any other movement anymore than nod her head and throw those weird “applaud or I’m going to take my bazooka out” looks around. While Sarah is my hero in style and humour, Cindy is my hero in robotics. This woman has spent past seven (or so) months standing behind her husband, nodding! Wooow! So Stepford wives do exist?!

I am not going to miss McCain because I just feel sorry for this man. He urgently needs to retire and take a long, long, very long rest. When retired, he will have all time in the world to teach his wife some other movements apart from nodding. Probably just needs to be oiled a bit.

I am going to miss Obama! This big charmer, whose voice already sounds more familiar than my dad’s – because I hear him talk more often than I hear my dad talk. Once the campaign is over, the “charming” part is over – Obama will start “doing”. Remember that smile, maybe you will not see it after 4.11. There’s not much to smile about when you have to clean up the mess in that country. Let’s see what this will do to his personality. But whatever it does – we’ll see and hear much less of him.

I am going to miss SNL.

And jeez, if I am going to miss all of that, how do people in the USA feel? Maybe the elections should be postponed. So that we can all enjoy the show for another year. Or two. Or five?

Ugh, greetings to Kafka.

 

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The Zeros

Thursday, October 30th, 2008

And suddenly, we are all trying to understand the billions and the trillions. $ billion is a € milliarde, a $ trillion is a € billion. And if you are not confused yet, try understanding how much they really are. If a billion is a million millions then how much is a trillion? Now try putting zeroes to those numbers. Not lost yet? Try to imagine how much all the governments around the world have put into saving the economy: USA $700 billions, Germany $680 billions, France $ 360 billions, Netherlands $258 billions, UK $88….Those make $2097 billions in total. Still not lost? Ask yourself where all that money comes from? They print it, right. So now, ask yourself how much this money is worth if it is simply being printed. Nothing, right. And what does this tell you? Yes, it is all yet another bubble. Or many bubbles. A trillion, billion, thousands of millions of millions bubbles. It looks like the financial system will have to be set from 0 after this….

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What a day…

Tuesday, October 28th, 2008

Strange day today.

There is no breath of wind – Vienna seems to be in a vacuum. The sky is steel grey and feels like a heavy helmet on our heads. Nothing is moving, everything is heavy, like a frozen picture. People are tired and have exhausted and lost expressions on their faces. The energy of a black hole. Feels like the whole city entered a limbo. We are not in hell – yet.

Mom tells me Zagreb is the same.

The markets keep on crashing – every day is the worst day till now. Wherever you turn you see CRISIS.

Can it be that this limbo-like atmosphere is created by our unconsciousness? Can it be that somewhere deep inside we all know we are standing in the middle of historical moments? A whole global system as we know it is crashing. And nobody knows what this means. Nobody knows what tomorrow will bring. It can be O.K., but it can also end in a depression like we never knew before.

The money is being printed endlessly which means it has no real value. Stocks have no value either. People will stop buying anything they don’t urgently need. Cars, TVs, fashion, travels have no value. Many factories are already closing. There are thousands of people loosing jobs.

Somebody compared this to Chernobyl – you can’t see it, you can’t smell it but you know it is a real catastrophe.

At least this day will be over soon.

 

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Bambi or Wolf?

Monday, October 27th, 2008

God, I survived a walk in the woods with a heterosexual man!

I normally go for my weekly wood magic with my gay neighbour (and friend) Patrick. And it is always plain beautiful: In spring, we are excited about the little pink and white buds coming out of the wet and dark earth, later in the year we pluck Bärlauch (ramson or bear’s garlic) and discuss the best Bärlauch recipes. In summer, we lie on a little chequered blanket and bask in the sun. And in the fall, we search for mushrooms in all colours and sizes. Like we did last weekend in the Little Red Riding Hood wood – it really was like a scene from a Disney cartoon.

Well, today was the first time in a long, long time that I went into a wood with a hetero man. And no, it wasn’t all about the big bad wolf eating poor Little Red Riding Hood behind a bush. First, we got lost – my walker was absolutely sure he knew his way around as he is mountain biking through this wood every week. Then, we ended up climbing a VERY high hill. And then we were even more lost, soon sliding down a very steep slope covered in slippery red leafs. Please note: I was wearing little golden adidas shoes. So once we managed to get off the slope (finally), I ended up sinking in mud – not only did my little golden shoes disappear in black mud but so did my cool jeans, all the way up to my knees. Thank god the hetero man on my side was big and strong and immediately fished me out. I really love woods, but I swear to God, I just wanted to get out of that one.

What is it about gay men?  How can they make any wood into a Bambi paradise? Why are butterflies and rabbits and flowers dancing in the sun whenever a gay man enters a wood? I mean, when you go into a wood with a gay man, you could as well put on your thinnest stilettos and you would be ok…. I don’t know. It’s…magic. Gay magic. Or am I simply a fag hag?

 
I don’t get it.

But since writing about woods (again), here my favourite wood joke:

“Aha! Little Red Riding Hood!” says Big Bad Wolf, upon finding the girl in the woods. “Now I’m going to take off your little read cape, lift up your little red skirt, pull down your little red panties and fuck your brains out!”

“Oh no, you’re not, Mr. Wolf,” Red Riding Hood retorts, pulling a pistol out of her basket and drawing a bead on the wolf. “You’re going to eat me just like the book says!”

 

Maybe that is it! In the woods, girls either want to meet Bambi or Wolf! Not sink in mud.

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Did you know we have a honey crisis?

Saturday, October 25th, 2008

Ooooohhhhh!

This is crisis in crisis!

A honey crisis! And this is serious.

Imagine world without honey! I wouldn’t survive. I live on honey.

The bees have a problem. A big one. Our economy is crashing, their world is crashing.  In Britain, honey production dropped 50% last year. After Xmas, there will be no British honey in supermarkets. And in 10 years there will be no bees in the UK anymore.

Bees pollinate 25% of food we eat. If there are no bees, not only there is no honey but also no apples, pears, almonds…

Californian almond industry lost billions because of a “Colony Collapse Disorder” – some of nature’s best navigators are suddenly unable to return into their hives because of a navigation problem. (Can mobile networks and similar be the cause?). Another problem is growing crops for the bio fuel instead of crops bees feed on. Because of the imbalance in nature (yes, caused by us), bee flees and wasps invade hives.

Beekeepers need $16million to start projects to save bees.

Ha, this used to be a lot – now it sounds like peanuts.

Governments should bail out bees!

My life without honey would be like life without olive oil and garlic – impossible….

 

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Why me?

Friday, October 24th, 2008

Got this from my gay friend with a note “…have a perfect saying for you…”:

BUY IT NOW !
REGRET IT LATER.

Why me?

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99F (The Film)

Wednesday, October 22nd, 2008

99F, a movie based on Frédéric Beigbeder’s bestselling book has finally arrived to Austria. The movie is excellent for those who haven’t read 99F, are curious, but cannot bother reading it.

99F became a bestseller as it came out in 2000 because it spoke openly about the Sodom and Gomorra of the advertising world – the drugs, the prostitutes, the travels, freakiness. Let’s not forget – end of 1990s were the golden times of advertising. And this is the movie’s problem – the topic is outdated  (now we need a movie about freaking Wall Street wizards). Advertising world has changed greatly since then – yes, it became boring. The companies are not uncontrollably shovelling money into advertising as they used to, everyone wants to just play safe, the agencies are holding creatives on a shorter leash and drugs are consumed in much smaller doses.

But exactly the timing – the fact that we are currently standing in the middle of a painful awakening – gives the movie a huge plus. Because in his book, Frédéric used the frentic world of advertising to criticize our imbecile, irresponsible, consumerist state of mind. This is exactly the state of mind which brought us to the current crash of the economy and also of the whole socio-political system.

The movie is definitely fun to watch – it is like being dipped into a big, colourful, juicy comic. A great game with reality on one side, a bit too chaotic on the other. The trick of dividing the story into “I”, “You”, “He” chapters, which was unnecessary in the book, is only confusing in the movie. The book suffers an overdose of advertising tricks, and so does the movie but here, this overdose serves its purpose. I missed a few of the best scenes from the book. I also missed the direct criticism and some great thoughts from the book. But hey – can’t have it all!

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The bubble

Monday, October 20th, 2008

Look at this (surprisingly pretty) poetry of the presidential elections:

When you are inside of the candidate’s entourage, tightly protected by the security, you are “in the bubble”.

Once you left the bubble, and you want to return, you have to be checked for security, because you are “dirty”.

You can only enter the bubble when you are proven to be clean.

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My first Fly Agaric/Fliegenpilz/Muhara ever

Monday, October 20th, 2008

Today, I walked in the woods on Wechsel, south of Vienna. I only discovered my love for woods few years ago and every time I enter a new wood, I am mesmerised by the fact that each wood is totally different from the other. There are woods which look like fairies and pixies live in them. There are woods which remind you of baroque paintings. There are woods that remind you of Klimt’s paintings. Today’s wood was the Little Red Riding Hood wood. I was really expecting to meet a talking wolf in there. I didn’t meet the wolf, but I was delighted to find many fly agarics, the red mushrooms with white dots. And I felt very pathetic when I realised that this was the first time that I saw this mushroom in real life.

How alienated is that?

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Sunday, October 19th, 2008

Does a politician who revived right extremism in his country, who lived a double life, who practiced doubtful criteria when promoting his followers (see link), who was driving home to his wife and children from a gay bar extremely drunk, in a speed more than double of what is allowed, really deserve a funeral worth of a king?

It is a pity that I am sometimes forced to be ashamed of being a citizen of this great country.

 http://www.heise.de/tp/r4/artikel/28/28943/1.html

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