Yes, I was shocked as I read that Brittany Murphy died at the age of 32. Yet another young celebrity died of “cardiac arrest”. I don’t like young American celebrities dying of “cardiac arrest”. Have you ever heard that a young European star died of “cardiac arrest”? OK, I admit, I don’t read so much gossip press (although I do read it a bit), so maybe I am not that well informed. But all those “cardiac arrests” make me wonder.

When young stars of the older generation died, it was of an overdose. Drugs overdose. The bad stuff. Heroin & co. Now, they are dying of “cardiac arrest”. I would say they are dying of the “good” stuff. While the “bad stuff” had a certain attitude, lifestyle, and yes, romantic or rebellious touch to it, the “good stuff” has no special aura. It is normal. It is for everyone. After decades of the psychotherapy ruling, now the pharmaceutical industry has become, especially in the states, a new religion. New God. Only God can do magic and have a quick solution for everything. Depression, anxiety attacks, exhaustion, loss of appetite, too much appetite, loss of libido, hyperactivity, LIFE…: all stuff that you used to deal with on a different level, by getting to know yourself and your life better, and changing things that don’t work well – now you just close your eyes and swallow a pill. It is a new form of a prayer. Or, if you like it more bluntly – simply legalized drugs helping the pharmaceutical lobby earn a fortune. Someone has to.

I have an American friend who takes antidepressants, sleeping pills, muscle relaxants, appetite enhancers. I think the list of Austrian army’s weapons sounds less deadly. You just need to accidentally take a wrong pill or one too many and – oops, here comes the “cardiac arrest”. I don’t know. I just know I started liking my doctor more and more. Last time I had a bad case of sinusitis, I had to beg for antibiotics. On my knees. I didn’t get them. And the sinusitis went away. No “cardiac arrest” for me, thank you.

I must admit I was totally delighted about the news of Tiger’s crash caused by angry wife hitting the car with his golf clubs. My first thought was “Yes, yes, the clean boy is not co immaculate after all! There might be a tiger hidden in Tiger!”. My second thought was “Well, if she was so angry, maybe she didn’t only marry him for his status and money, maybe she really loves him” (My mistake at that moment was that I wasn’t considering the aspect of pride ). The whole story made me like him, and her, a bit more.

Yes, Tiger, the good boy of the good sport has turned out to be not so good after all. What have we learned?

• Do not to believe everything you see in the media. Constructing an image of choice is so easy to do.
• In our information society, it is impossible to keep things secret. So if you don’t want any problems, just don’t give them a chance. Can you really believe that a predator starlet will be so discrete not to publish your messages on internet? Even a golfer cannot be that naïve.
• If you are a starlet, or in this case a bimbo aux pair, don’t be so naïve to believe that a man who married you because you are blond and pretty will not go for the next (fresher) blond and pretty, the moment he has a chance to do so.
• One more time: a man is just a man. Which is bad and good. Bad because men are more prone to give in to temptation. Good because that makes them easy to manipulate (for those who know how to manipulate).  This is what made me so angry during the Clinton scandal. Is it really bad that a relatively handsome young man, currently most powerful person on this planet, who is married to Hillary (sorry, but…) gives in to a young attractive woman who throws herself at him every day? Or does it make him… well… yes, more manly, or at least, more sympathetic? We have this thing for people who are not all that perfect.  And we non-Tigers cannot even imagine how many gorgeous women work hard, and good, to get the Tiger. And tigers are usually out of the cage.  They are constantly on the road, constantly winning, constantly being admired, and constantly surrounded by female predators.
• Yes, women hunting. You should not underestimate those women. Those women are gorgeous and they know their work. I know one or two. Finding a rich husband is the only goal in their life. They adopt everything to this goal – the way they dress, look, talk, jobs they do, travel destinations they go for, friends they have, cities they live in. They are extremely intelligent. They are fantastic manipulators. They are incredible risk-takers. And they are great strategists. Once they set their eyes on you, you cannot escape. You would have to be impotent or blind or on heavy drugs. And no woman wants a husband like that.
• And last but not least. Here is the manifestation of the culture of choice and consumerism. We have more choice than we have ever had. And we have a feeling that we have even more choice than we actually do. We are tempted to go out and grab it all! Also, the aspect of exchanging something for something newer and better is starting to reflect from our behaviour as consumers to our behaviour as humans….

But one interesting question that stays open: Why do sex scandals not happen to successful women? Is it really because (most) women are simply not into sex?

Every Christmas, I am tortured by the same philosophical question: What happened to presents??? They are here, but they are not. Presents are moving into the same direction like “And they lived happily forever after”: We like the whole idea, we like to try and keep it alive, but deep inside we know that they are just shadows from some past times. Yes, Christmas is coming and we’re all into that presents dilemma again. What to give? Everybody has everything! Is it still possible to give a present that will kick someone out of his/her shoes? I’m sceptical.

My parents keep telling me about the Christmases of their childhood, when they were excited about finding oranges and peanuts in a sock. I read Jane Austin’s novels in which getting a ribbon for your hat was, even for the ladies of more wealth, an ecstatic experience. And I remember my excitement of receiving a Barbie doll or a Hello Kitty pencil. All those things were rare, and that made them magical. What is still rare (and magical) today?

Yes, we all know that we are a doomed society based on materialism and consumption: Buying and throwing away keeps the world going around. But there is another depressing aspect to the extinction of presents: we are generally slowly losing the capability to ad that something extra to each-other’s lives. Can someone still give me something that a) I would still get very excited about and b) I cannot give to myself? We don’t really need each other any more, do we? And by losing that practical necessity, we are also slowly loosing the capability to give magic. A woman used to need a man to provide for the survival of the family. A man used to need a woman to spread his genes and take care of him and the kids. Parents needed their kids to watch over them when they are old. Kids needed their parents to help with their own kids. We needed family to give us security. We needed friends to support us both through good and bad times. Today, we can cope without all of them. There is a substitute for everyone.  And this kills the magic.

“We’ll just have symbolic presents” is what my family tells each other every Christmas, trying to make the whole dilemma easier. But this is stupid, because finding a good symbolic present is just as hard, if not harder, than buying a present-present – such as a new car or a diamond necklace. And at the end, the whole symbolism turns out to be exactly what Christmas is about. It is about being together and celebrating the true magic of life: being surrounded with people who love you, enjoying a great meal, good wine and a warm and comfortable home. Sharing love. That’s what we still need each other for! And you can’t buy that as a present, can you?

Yes, presents might be gone, but let’s not allow Grinch to steal Christmas!