I just met an old (gay) gentleman from the island who taught me a valuable lesson about (incredible) verbal efficiency. He stopped me in the middle of the street to tell me this:

“Your mother used to be so incredibly beautiful when she was young! And you look so much like your dad.”

Basically, in one short sentence he managed to:

1. Offend my mother and say that she USED to be beautiful and now she is just an old rag
2. Offend my dad and say that while mom at least WAS beautiful, he is ….. ugly
3. Offend me and tell me that I am unfortunately as ugly as my dad.

The worst thing is that I believe he actually wanted to say something charming.

P.S. I am not fishing for compliments! Just found this…. actually charming.

Here is a story for all ChiChi fans.

ChiChi has many fans on this island, and now that he starred in both my book and my blog, he became a superstar. Maybe soon he will need his own website.

Yesterday, mama and I were forced to leave our favourite beach because a girl-dog in heat passed by and he want totally crazy. Mad. Balistic. He was screaming and barking and crying and pulling on his leash. We were scared the dog will get a heart attack, so we jumped on our bikes and rode to the other side of the island. The other side is the “in” beach, and this is exactly why we don’t like it – EVERYONE is there. The moment we arrived with ChiChi in our basket, people started greeting him and kids came to play with him. But the moment Chi got off the bike, he grabbed his red towel and started masturbating. We tried everything, even threw him into the freezing sea (a few times) but nothing helped. This mad dog was going on for one hour. The young part of the audience was laughing, the older ones packed their stuff and left. And mama and I desperately stuck our noses into our books and pretended we have no clue what was going on next to us. You simply cannot stop a dog from masturbating. Or is it just our dog?

Today, ChiChi and I saw mama off as she is leaving to Zagreb. She felt bad leaving me alone “At least I leave you ChiChi, so you have someone who breaths next to you” she said.

“Yeah, and someone who masturbates next to me”

“Hahaha, it is like having a husband!” We just couldn’t stop laughing.

Sorry boys, but it WAS funny.

My mother and I stopped in front of a window of an antiques shop. There was an elegant art deco mirror hanging in the window. „Oh, we are so beautiful!“, my mum loudly said, her voice full of delight. I looked up. The ebony frame framed two identical figures: same size, same black hair, same black coats. Same alabaster skin, same smile, same spark in black eyes. For a moment, it confused me. But then it filled me with joy. Next to us a lady was standing. She was my mom’s age, red haired, bigger than us, wearing a grey coat. As she heard what my mum said, she turned and looked at us smiling at our twins in the mirror. She smiled “I didn’t even dare to look at myself“ she said. I could hear a note of envy in her voice. My mum turned towards her beaming with joy „Oh, I normally don’t like looking at myself either, but with my daughter next to me, it is something totally different.“ That second,  it became clear to me what a huge influence the person on our side has on our attitude toward ourselves. And for a moment, I felt that I gave my mother a very special gift: a touch of eternity.