The Attack of Bosnian Sausages

I wanted to witness Dita von Teese’s book presentation, hoping to learn a lesson or two, but unfortunately I got there too early (yes, this can happen) and didn’t have much time to stay. Her diligent audience started gathering two hours before Dita was supposed to arrive and I decided to stay for a while and watch the colourful variety of Dita’s fans. What surprised me most, was that they are mostly women. A few young women, some with a touch of punk or Goth, but mostly very normal looking women, let’s say - secretaries in their mid 30’s. What was also surprising, was a small number of young men, but many middle aged to older men, mostly from a working class. But this shopping mall is located in the middle of a “working class” district so maybe this biased the picture.

The big round hall was surrounded with three stores of galleries and very quickly, people filled out all the galleries to get a better glimpse of the pretty queen of burlesque. In search for the best view, I went up to the first floor and managed to find little space in the middle, directly opposite of the stage. Next to me were two Bosnian men, mid forties, I think construction workers. I believe they didn’t have much clue about what they were going to see - some pretty babe, often showing much skin. The place was full of security guys in dark blue uniforms, trying to look very serious but obviously excited like little kids. What a beautiful woman can do!

At one point, one security guy walked towards my two Bosnian neighbours. He asked them about the stuff they are holding in their hands. It turned out their hands were full of packaged sausages - they obviously stopped here spontaneously, on the way to eat lunch back at work. The security guy ordered them in a barking tone that they should please find a locker and lock the sausages there. “You seriously think we were going to shoot the lady with sausages?” one of the workers asked. I immediately saw the picture of two Bosnians shooting Dita von Teese with Wiener sausages, so I couldn’t help but burst out laughing. The Bosnians realised the security guy also had an accent so they asked him where he came from. It turned out he was also from some place ex-Yu. So now, they started attacking him - why the hell he was speaking to them in German when he heard they speak his language! Suddenly, his tone turned apologetic. Good work, guys! I was getting more and more amused. Unfortunately I had to leave, so no clue how the story ended. But I can imagine they all (including the security guy) went back to their construction site and had fun eating sausages and drinking beer instead of waiting for Dita. A sausage is a sausage. And I kept on laughing for hours.