Welcome to the Queens’ School of Life. Your Royal Teachers: Elizabeth I and Maria Theresa
On 6 May, after a very long wait, former Prince Charles will be coronated as Charles III, King of the United Kingdom and the other Commonwealth realms. But on this day, his head won’t be the only one to receive a crown – seated next to him, on her own thrown, will be Camilla. Former Camilla Parker Bowls, soon Queen Camilla - an incredibly long and rocky journey from a commoner to a queen, paved with adultery, the “Tampax” scandal, and public trauma of Diana’s death. Brits, who have a very long “hate” and a very short “kind-of-maybe-like-a bit” relationship with Camilla, and are still not sure if she deserves to be a Queen. But King decided and Queen she will be.
I love learning from powerful women, so I recently read biographies of two Queens very different to Camilla – Queens who were born into their positions, but also ruled their queendoms with huge success. I discovered that, no matter how different their lives and times were, real Queens teach us the same life lessons. Allow me to introduce your royal teachers: England’s Elizabeth I and Habsburg’s Maria Theresa. Now, while I will assume you’ve probably heard of Elizabeth I, I will also assume there’s a chance you haven’t heard of Empress Maria Theresa.
Maria Theresa inherited the throne to the weakened Habsburg Monarchy in 1740, at the tender age of 23, pregnant with her first child, and completely uneducated for her overwhelming new position. She went on to become the most admired of Habsburg rulers. She increased and strengthened her monarchy not by conquest but by arranged marriages – during her time, the monarchy enveloped almost two thirds of Europe. All while being madly in love with her husband and giving birth to their 16 children.
One a Virgin Queen, the other a Mother Queen; one English, the other Austrian; one from the 16th, the other the 18th century. Two very different queens teaching us the same lessons. Join me in their school of life!
1. Queens don’t do doubt.
You are the chosen one. The Universe, or God, or whatever you believe in, put you in this position, so know that you can do this. Never doubt yourself, or your capabilities. Both these young women had absolutely no doubt they deserved to be queens. They were both religious and believed that if God put them in this position, God knew they were worthy of it, and the divine spirit was going to guide them on their path. Impostor Syndrome? Self-doubt? Forget it! You are where you are because you deserve to be there. You face the challenges you do because you can overcome them. Put your head high, straighten your crown and do your queening. Or managing. Mothering. Writing. Doctoring. Whatever you wish to do.
2. Queens are true to themselves.
You’d think there was a right way of being a queen? Like you probably think there is a right way of being a surgeon or a film producer or a mother. And by “the right way”, you think it’s how others define a Queen? Hear some noise? That’s Elizabeth and Maria Theresa shouting “You are wrong!!!!” You are the Queen, so only you determine what a Queen should be like.
These two women created opposite definitions of a “Queen”. Maria Theresia was a happy wife, and deeply involved in rearing her 16 children. Elizabeth chose not to marry, in spite of heavy outside pressure. She used her (supposed) virginity as a trademark, claiming she was married to her country. But that didn’t stop her from flirting (or else?) heavily with many, many men. Our Queens never doubted the lifestyles they chose. So others didn’t either.
3. Queens are whom they surround themselves with.
Both Queens were famous for having wisely chosen the best men as their advisors. That is one skill. But then they let their advisers advise them. That is a separate skill. Our Queens knew they didn’t have to personally possess expertise on every single matter – managing a navy, winning a war, creating a taxation system. They found the best in their fields and trusted their advice. To be a great Queen, surround yourself with the best people – both professionally and personally. They will help you shine in your greatness.
4. Queens let past be past.
Let’s imagine Elizabeth and Maria Theresa today. The suffering, self-pity, and endless hours of therapy Elizabeth would need to heal from the fact her dad had her mom beheaded, and she grew up parentless. Or all the reiki healing Maria Theresa would require to deal with the anger and injustice she felt towards her parents for never having prepared her for her role? Instead of geography, history and diplomacy, young Maria Theresa received lessons in dancing and stitching! In many books I read about these women, I never once read about them even mentioning those challenges. Being a victim, suffering and dwelling in past just wasn’t in their Queenly DNA. They had no time for that – they had to rule!
5. Queens serve others.
Maria Theresa is often called Mater Austria, the Mother of Austria. Elizabeth often told her people in her speeches of her love and devotion to them. Both queens saw themselves as mothers of their people, even as their servants. They truly loved their people. They wanted to protect them, educate them, heal them. And I’m sure you’ve heard it many times because every spiritual adviser or life-coach on Instagram will tell you this: we find true purpose in serving others. We find the biggest awards in having improved other people’s lives, touched hearts, or simply inspired others. To be a true Queen, always ask yourself in which way you serve others.
6. Queens put those pearls on!
With all this queenly work that must be done, all the kids that need to be taken of, and wars that need to be won, it’s easy to forget that life should also be fun. Look at Elizabeth’s dresses! Look at those strands of pearls, that lace, gold stitching! She didn’t put them on only for the selfies! No, she loved dressing up. She also loved dancing and danced (always with the most handsome men at the court) as long as her health allowed her. She loved going on a hunt (again with the most handsome men in the kingdom), spending hours exercising outdoors. And while Maria Theresa was not ostentatious - both by nature, and foresight (she did kep warning her daughter Marie Antoinette to be careful about how much she was spending or her head might be in danger), she did build herself a gorgeous summer palace inspired by Versailles. She loved opera and music, and never forgot to put on a pretty dress (and some pearls).
7. Queens don’t depend on others.
Elizabeth could have married powerful kings like Philip II of Spain, who would have helped her to defend her queendom. But she refused to depend on a man. Maria Theresa could have ceded her power to her husband or her son. She chose not to. Real Queens don’t want to depend on others. Nurture your independence.
8. Queens keep learning.
Ascending her throne completely unprepared, Maria Theresa learned everything she needed while being a Queen (and a mother). Even as a young princess, Elizabeth was famous for her intelligence, eagerness to learn, and extraordinary oratory skills. Education is crucial. It’s something no one can take away from you. It will help you rule your kingdom. It will help you be independent. And it will help you with your confidence.
9. Queens fight like queens.
The first thing that happened when Maria Theresa ascended her throne was Friedrich the Great attacking Silesia, one of the most fertile parts of her queendom. While she was famous for her pacifism (she never attacked another country), he was one of the most famous warriors in history. This didn’t stop her from fiercely defending her queendom form his numerous attacks. When she died, Friedrich famously said she was the best king (!) Austria ever had. After a war that lasted for 19 years, Elizabeth defeated the omni-powerful Philipp II, King of Spain, who kept trying to invade her queendom. Don’t let anyone intimidate you, or your queendom - especially not Kings.
10. Queens don’t do everything themselves.
Get help! Delegate! Prioritize! Each of Maria Theresa’s children had two gouvernantes. But don’t think she was a bad mother – she adored her children and knew each of them very well. She wrote pages and pages of “Instructions” for each child’s nannies and teachers, telling them about the child’s character, about how they should be treated, and what they should be learning. Do you think Elizabeth would have won the war with Spain if she was busy vacuuming the floors of her palace? No.
Now go and be a Queen.